Hi! I like saying hi because it’s
nice and not a binding and – oh, right! I’m Jay. But if you’re
reading this (or hearing it, like I do with text-to-speech) then you
probably know all that. Charlie says essays don’t start like this
but I’m ‘splaining and not essaying – it’s more a saying,
see? :) – and I’ve never done this before at all. Charlie is
editing it so this won’t have my lisp in it that might confuse
people a little bit. I – oh, right. She says I don’t need to
thank her in this too. Man.
This is hard, but I’m doing it because of a binding and friendship
so it’s fun, too.
Okay.
First stuff: I’m not human. I’m from far Outside the universe
where things are scary and I don’t like to talk about it much. So I
won’t. I ended up in it by running away from things that wanted to
eat me by becoming friends with a magician I call Honcho and Charlie,
who is my friend too and said I can leave it that when describing her
or this might get way too long. Right now my eyes don’t work, and
that’s a way-too-long story too but I’m going to use the word
‘see’ for bindings anyway even if it involves a lot more than
eyes. Did you know that humans smell before they see and don’t
describe smells well because smelling is more primal and humans use
vision to describe lots of things? (That was me being all kinda
smart!)
I see
everything as bindings. Magicians do, too, but I see way down into
the core of things and maybe below that; it’s hard to be sure,
since I can share what I see but humans can’t process it all
according to Honcho. Charlie said this will go bad if I use words
like ‘quantum’ or say ‘everything is connected’, but I don’t
get the latter because if everything was, bindings wouldn’t hold
things together. I’m not sure what a quantum even is. Anyway!
Everything is itself. You are you (you could even be the randomgirl
who asked me this :)) and I am me and we’re made up of the what
make us us instead of
being anyone else.
Charlie
and I talked it over with words, and she said I have to now explain
it better than those words. Also that I didn’t need to tell you we
did that. (Or say this, I bet :)) Everything is itself, complete,
whole in what it is. You are you, we are now. The word is. We are.
Humans have trouble getting that part, but I’m not sure why.
Everything that isn’t you is everything else – sometimes a
someone else – and bindings are what hold it all together, how you
decide what is important to you
is based on what you bind to you. Like good memories and bad ones and
friends and enemies and humans break bindings a lot because they can
only have so many at once. Like there’s only so much attention or
so much of you to go
around? Like that. Not like that, a little bit like that.
So!
Friendship is a binding. It can be small or big or huge and
it’s where you expand who you are to include other people and they
do the same to you. So you’re you,
your self, changes. I mean, it doesn’t, because you don’t stop
being you – that would be silly! –
but your understand of who
you are changes, I guess? It’s not always easy and sometimes people
don’t want bindings, even with me :(
(I had Charlie put that bold because it’s a really sad face.) Oh.
Charlie said I can explain it like the idea of a ‘true name’.
That if you know someone’s true name, you can control them, only
that’s not real at all. It’s more than connection, because it’s
a binding. You connect part of you to someone, and they can do the
same if they want to and – and – and you can be friends :) Like
we are!
(Charlie
said I couldn’t end that with more than one exclamation mark.)
If
you’re me, you can make bindings Do Things: like I could bind a
door to me so it opens without touching it, or snow to someone so
that a snow ball hits them really hard but humans mostly don’t do
that. Even magicians don’t; their bindings to the world are more
asking it to do things and the world saying yes, but I don’t need
to do that since my bindings work on deeper levels. Charlie said it’s
like everyone else uses computer languages while I speak in machine
code, but I don’t know what that even means. I’ve never even
tried to talk to a coffee pot except that once and the explosion
wasn’t that big. (It
turns out coffee pots can work really fast like microwaves if you ask
them to, but it’s pretty smelly and explodey a lot.)
So, to
me, friendship is an Important Binding because it means you make
someone part of your life and they make you part of theirs in turn.
It’s not easy-peasy as some bindings are, but that’s part of what
makes it important? And to
humans, if something is hard, that’s what gives it power so they
use bindings badly sometimes. You make hope into a weapon and
friendship into a wound and I don’t really have words for what you
to do love, but it can be pretty mean and not-nice in many not-nice
ways but you can be really good too. You can make bindings without
even wanting bindings
back at all and that’s really huge and special and I get all happy
inside like a warm burp. Charlie says that’s not the best word to
use, but humans don’t really have a word for that. Kitten or puppy
maybe? I dunno. I just know bindings are what I am and humans can do
them and I try and help humans to do them better so we can all be
awesome!
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