Words

We only have one word for sorry

But I don't think its enough.

You loved me once, perhaps as much

As I thought I loved you:

I saw the signs but can ignore

As well as I can see.

There is none so blind as the foolish ones

Who pluck out their own eyes.

I thought that love would see us through,

That faith would be enough.

Yours was weaker (or mine too deep):

You saw that it would end.

I’m jealous that you saw that truth,

I hate you for breaking us up.

Only now do I see that I always

Hated you as I loved you

In equal measure.

Love Lost

I wait now, surrounded by silence,

Looking for the pause between breaths;

Desperate to understand, in words left behind

Or half spoken: silent gestures

My only clues.

I listen for the spaces that lie between

Saying and meaning, motion and confusion.

Perhaps you thought I replaced meaning with words

When I said I loved you.

I should have seen the hints in your hesitancy,

The recalled touch, that too long stare.

You told me I knew you better than anyone:

It was because of that I didn't see as deeply as I could.

Even though it’s now too late

I'm listening to you and not to love

Or who I thought you were.

Conversations

Knives pound into the brain,

Needles stab into the heart:

You speak, and words rush out

Seeking their pound of flesh.

I reach for my own weapons --

Sarcasm, humour, wit:

Ripostes stabbing back into you,

I will your heart to bleed.

Falling Into Another

The first word I pronounced was -- your name.

So frail a thing, seemingly too simple

To bridge the gaps it does, the loneliness.

I needed you as a friend, each smile warming me;

A welcome I have done so little to deserve.

I could pull myself together and say I love you

But those words are too easy to say

And mean too much to be said so casually.

In order to be able to fall into love

You must believe you are worth being loved.

I only know that I care for you

So much that it frightens me sometimes.

If love is willing to surrender to you, I am.

If love is finding someone who needs you

As much as you need them, I can.

If love means just being friends, I will.

I only know that every moment I spend alone

I wish I could share with you.

I only know that if this is what love is

I wish I’d met you long ago.

A Love

Lips and hands meet

As we touch, bridging the gaps.

Words whisper lies, but hands speak truth.

You reach for me as I to you:

Darkness invaded by a touch, a caress.

In the shadows no one is false.

Untitled

Their hands grope within darkness
As shadows conceal;
Faces burn with quiet shame
As passions congeal.

Hands reach slowly for the light,
Bodies hide away --
Fear shatters the twinned embrace
As light brings forth day.

Walls rise between shared feelings
-- Two bitter smiles then --
Eyes saying what words dare not:
"We will meet again."

Friendship

I was digging through files and found a series of poems on love and loss written in 2000-2001. With one exception (the last) they weren't intended as a series or done in order. Presenting them without editing or comment.

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Our friendship can survive the test of years

By only asking of it what I'll give.

Make no promises and none can be broken.

Only give what you would receive,

Ask nothing you doubt I'd give you.

If no one tries to scale or break them,

We can ignore the walls.

If you don't try to climb over them

And I guard my speech with gilded tongue,

None will trespass -- if we don’t look

For each others weaknesses and flaws

We can force ourselves to pretend.