To Love That Never Was

There must have been a reason
Sometime and way back then
For everything you did, and didn't
And the way that things begun.

I'd like to think I understood
Or could have been a friend
But you only lets the cats close
And each died in the end.

From cars and dogs and people
But each you bore with pride
To come home with a new pet
And a secret deep inside.

The day I found the pet food
And the rat poison jar
After you'd bemoaned vet bills
And the last died to your car.

I watched the dogs come next
They came and died so fast
I wondered what they took from you
And how long you could last

I never said I loved you, just
Held for hope in vain
And then I found the dog food
The night of storm and rain

I'd been helping you because of
A wild night of hail and wind
And what I saw I never spoke
And fear I hid behind

When the vet clued in years later
When just one dog got loose
My brother was the one to find you
Holding your makeshift noose

You said it was a leash and laughed
(He still pales to recall)
The dog's eyes filled with broken thing
and he cowered to the wall

I know all this and more beside
I'd followed all the news
And yet when I see your face
I still feel so confused