The home of the alchemist Ikhthu turned out to be a giant fish, bright blue and preserved by unknown means. Dead bodies hung off the enormous tail under a large sign that read ‘graffiti is not tolerated on the whale’.
“You’re certain he won’t kill me?” Quinn said slowly as they stared up at the rotting corpses.
“You heal,” Carson said absently.
“Right.” Quinn squinted. “Their legs and arms?”
Carson looked up, then shrugged. “Why would an alchemist waste parts?”
Quinn turned a little pale but managed a smile and followed Carson to the side of the fish, which had stairs in need of repair leading up to a door.
Carson walked up and rapped on the door. “Hey!”
The door was opened a few minutes later by a kid of about 10, who scowled up at them. “Oh, you.” His skin was a pale green and his voice odd and bubbly and one hand had been replaced by a red claw at some point. “I don’t recall asking for anything from you this week?”
“I need a favour.” Carson nodded to Quinn. “He has writing under his skin; we need to know what it says.”
“Oh?” he snapped his claw thoughtfully. “Now I’m interested. Come in.”
“How old is he?” Quinn whispered as he followed Carson in.
“I’m almost twelve,” Ikhthu snapped, not turning around.
Carson just smiled at Quinn, then looked around. the interior of Ikhthu’s home hadn’t changed, though there were even more fish tanks and the walls were covered in details drawings and notes scattered about seemingly at random.
“You used to have a bed?”
Ikhthu waved his human hand to a tank of water. “This is easier; the bed too up too much space.”
“Ah. I guess that’s why you have gills?”
“Don’t need them. They look cool, though, right?”
Carson nodded. “You’re still making fish men?”
“Trying to.” He scowled, heading around tanks to the back. “My backer keeps wanting breasts on them.”
“Breasts?” Quinn asked, looking into a tank. A creature, neither male nor female, was in it, covered in green scales with a mouth of sharp teeth and alien eyes that stared back at Quinn without blinking.
“I told him that would make them less aerodynamic,” the alchemist said. “And he only wants the female ones. I’m going to have to change how they breed to take that into account. they could impregnate themselves if I do it right.”
Quinn looked back. “What?”
“Just how flexible are they?” Carson said, trying not to laugh at Quinn’s expression.
Ikhthu gave them both a blank look. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“He probably wants to use the for sex,” Carson said.
“Excuse me? I am the alchemist. That means I am the insane one. Did you see the claws and teeth? You don’t have sex with things that can rip you into shreds. Even I know that.”
“You’d be amazed what people will do for some fun.”
“The same people who think alchemists are mad?” the boy frowned. The standards may have to be revised. I would not copulate with a fish person, even if my equipment was functional yet -- is something wrong with your friend?”
“Quinn? He has coughing fits sometime.”
“I see. I built the fish men to survive predatation, Carson. I could see keeping them on display at art, but other things -- that is, at the least, foolish.”
“It’s okay; you replaced your hand with a fish claw; you’re still insane in my books.”
“I am beginning to consider that I may be sane; insanity seems the only rational response to an insane world, thus I am sane.”
“What did you make the fish people for?” Quinn said
“To see which one would survive when I throw them all in a giant tank of course. That will determine the next generation build.”
“And this is sane?”
“Saner than having sex with them. Now what do you want?”
“He needs to go in a solution so we can read the writing under his skin,” Carson said. “If you can do that?”
“Of course. Do you want him alive after?”
“I want me alive after,” Quinn snapped.
“I could make you better?”
“No thank you.”
“Faster.”
“I said no.”
“Stronger.”
“No!”
“With gills!”
“Ikhthu,” Carson interrupted, “just what we want, all right?”
The alchemist sighed. “Everyone would be better with gills. Fine. get into the vat near the front, I’ll add the solution, and you just swim around.”
“That’s all?” Quinn said.
“Unless you want --.” Ikhthu sighed. “Figures. No, that’s it.”
Quinn shrugged and stripped, lowering himself into the cold water and swimming around slowly as the alchemist added red dye and just watched. Quinn swam, ignoring the whispered conversation with Carson involving “just one fish man? Please?” as best he could, and the world began to swim along with hi. danger hit, hard, a feeling like ants over his skin and his body grew numb and distant as he sank into the reddened water.
“Is he supposed to float without moving?”
“Well, probably, no. You don’t seem worried?”
Carson smiled tightly. “Quinn surprises me.”
Ikhthu looked up in surprise. “You knew my solution would kill him?”
“I thought it might.”
“Are you people really certain we alchemists are the mad ones?”
Carson shrugged and grabbed rope, hauling Quinn out and starting at the words under his skin. “Parchment. Now.”
He began writing quickly, reversing letters easily. They were in code as well, but that was easy enough to decipher. He finished the chest as the colour faded, frowning at the results.
“What’s it say?” Quinn said, not moving.
“Surprising things. Your pages are important. You are aware you aren’t breathing/’
“Oh.” Quinn started breathing again slowly, coughed up some water, and stood, finding his clothing and dressing.
Ikhthu made a happy burbling sound and regarded Quinn hungrily.
“We need to go now,” Carson said. “You’d be a perfect lab specimen.”
Quinn just nodded and followed him outside slowly.
“Don’t ask. We need to get back to the apartment, and talk.”
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