“Fuck,” Kim said, but the thing –
the woman – she stared, dead-eyed. Glassed, someone had called it
once. She lay breathing on the bed, eyes wide into some unseeing
world. In a day or two, her skin would be grey. In four says, she
would be gone. Ash, or something else. Dissolved. Like the others.
He pulled himself off the hotel bed
onto his feet. His body ached with strain and need both, like a
Viagra kick after running a marathon. He’d never got her name, and
now she was dead. Worse than dead. Empty. Hollowed. He staggered from
the body. Even now, after two years – after over eight bodies –
death still rolled through him. He held back throwing up, made it to
the bathroom. He breathed, flicked the taps on, doused his face with
water before staring into the mirror.
The face that looked back through
smeared glass was dull. Pockmarks and crooked teeth, cheap glasses,
the baseball cap to hide the fact that he was starting to bald even
if he wasn’t even twenty. There wasn’t any way to get a girl like
he was, not without help. He stumbled into the bathtub, masturbating
through the ache of exhaustion, almost throwing up again after.
A life of almost as he staggered back
out, put his pants back on. He didn’t clean up: his idea of
penance. Of something. He didn’t know what anymore. He’d pushed
through to the giddy place on the other side of exhaustion, and
reached into the world with his Talent. To touch emotions, to catch
them and set them on fire inside people. He could make friends. Make
people want him, but too
much, too hard and too fast, and they glassed. Burnt out. Were
lost.
Died.
But
there was enough emotions in
a hotel room to call up heat. Enough for fire. Enough to burn away
all traces he’d been in the room. Kim left with his wallet,
clothing, and found the nearest bar. He burned through a hundred
dollars in ten minutes, chugging drinks that ached through his throat
until their fire shook him back into normalcy. He
ate a burger and fries, which took away some of the emptiness gnawing
inside him. A second burger helped even more, his
talent settling into its cool waiting.
A
Talent only has themselves to draw on. That much he’d been told.
There were people with talents that were far more than his. People
who could focus and do things with one small ability that he couldn’t
even begin to grasp, but he didn’t hate them. Talents weren’t
common, but they tended to be unique. The same song, but always
different tunes. Something like that. He considered another beer when
a man sat down beside him.
“Kim,”
the man said, and his voice said he knew
Kim, in ways Kim had never known anyone.
Kim
was out of the seat so fast people might have thought of
it as magic, his fear a
hammerblow on the air. Glasses cracked along the bar, healing before
they
could shatter as the other man stood and walked over. He wasn’t
tall. He was ordinary. Painfully, weirdly so, except there was a
hardness to his expression, and his eyes were cold with judgement.
Kim
covered his ears and ran. Into the kitchen and out the back. He made
it into the side street, turned his elation into a blade that –
unmade itself before he could swing it as the magician was simply in
front of him between moments. Kim knew about magicians. A Talent did
one thing. Sometimes strongly, but on: magicians did anything.
Anything they wanted, some said. They
had voices that could not be disobeyed.
He
grabbed his longing, his hate, his need, and hurled it through the
air like a bomb as his body
shook and spasmed with the effort.
The
magician caught it between two fingers almost
absently. All of that
power, caught and held like
one would a toy. “I felt your talent, and my magic pulled me to the
hotel. To what you had done.” The magician stared at the emotions
until they were a small visible ball of seething greens
and reds between his fingers. “So many lives damaged. So many
people ruined. I will do what
I can for them, and always
wish someone had found you sooner.”
Kim
reached, in a way that hurt more than anything he’d ever done, his
hatred a living thing in the air, screaming without sound.
The
magician unmade it with one flat stare, and then flicked the ball of
hate and need into Kim. Hard.
Kim
hit the ground, feeling something breaking deep inside. He tried to
move, but nothing responded.
“This
is what you did to people. Burned our emotions, burned out everything
that could move in
them,” the magician said, and Kim couldn’t ignore the truth in
the words. “But I think most of them will end up in the Grey Lands,
where ghosts are born and made. And I know you will end up there, to
face their judgement.”
And
the magician smiled, and the
smile dissolved Kim’s body into ashes and hurled him toward
judgement.
And
all he felt, all he could feel, was his desperate lust for the power
a magician held. Until he felt them around him. All those who had
died because of him, directly or otherwise. Waiting. They had glass
in their hands, and sharp blades, and all he could do was scream
until they denied him even that. But they did not stop cutting into
him, and not a single one spoke at all.