“I could stop you.”
I don’t look over from tossing my
visa and a fake ID into a bag, make sure I have my worst clothing on.
“You could. There won’t be many people there.”
“Jay is going to follow you,” the
wandering magician says softly.
There are things that loom large in the
world, and then there are those that should but don’t. Hidden
things. Secret things. Magician things, but others as well. Jay is
eleven. He is also from far, far Outside the universe and could, on a
very bad day, likely unmake the entire universe. I try not to think
too hard about that. About what it costs to travel with him, about
how much we try to protect him from. Innocent is armour, but not
always. Not always. Sometimes I think it’s a chain as well. “I
know.”
The magician nods. “Even the fae
might not be able to hide the result of Jay being at a rally,
Charlie.”
I look at him. “Do you want them to?”
He smiles. There is almost nothing of a
magician in his smile, and I have some idea in that moment of what it
costs him to do nothing. “I have no idea anymore. A magician’s
power is small things, subtle workings. Jay is far much more. If I
go, I would shift events when I should not. Need. Desire. Will.” He
falls silent for a moment, staring off into some memory I know
nothing of. “I will keep Outsiders and monsters from feeding off of
events, from making things worse.”
“Worse.”
“They can always be worse.” It
would sound like a cliché,
if it wasn’t him saying it.
“The town isn’t that big. The
protest won’t be that big,” I say, to myself as much as the
magician.
“I know. Keep Jay safe.”
I nod and head outside, and he is
beside me a moment later, saying he feels bindings and knows I’m
doing an adventure and that of course means a Jay can help.
“Charlie?” he says after I don’t
reply.
“It’s not that kind of adventure,
Jay.”
“There are lots of adventures that
feel like something else,” Jay says firmly.
“There are?”
“Like when food pretends it’s not
food and!” I almost smile, but Jay stops me with a sudden, hard
hug. “And going to places with lots of messy bindings is a
dangerous adventure but that’s important too!”
“It is. You have to promise not to
fix any of them.”
“That’s going to be really hard,”
he whispers.
“I know. But sometimes being present
without being jaysome is as important as being jaysome,” I say.
Jay blinks, scratches his head. “I
think you went postjaysome, Charlie?”
I laugh, soft, surprised. “Maybe I
did. Come?”
He nods, and walks beside me. The world
stops. Even Jay stops, which I didn’t thin could be done.
The entity before me is tall and pale,
young and ancient. “There are few incidents that draw me to a place
in person,” it says.
I shudder. I’ve seen this entity once
become. Seen more of it. “You’re Time.”
“Winter, if you like. Among other
names.” Winter’s voice is soft, kind because Time can afford to
be kind. “Trying to get Jay to be not jaysome in this way has drawn
me here.” Winter embodies Time, making this Power perhaps as old as
the universe. It sounds unsure for a moment. “Even I have no idea
what to make of this.”
“A memento?” The words slip out.
I’m always sarcastic when I’m terrified.
“Perhaps. A moment, seen and known. A
time.” Winter laughs, and the sounds reminds me a little of Jay. “A
time stamp, by Time. A moment known and preserved. This is very
dangerous.”
“I know.”
“And very brave,” he says, to Jay,
who grins. The rest of the world is frozen, but Jay is free of it and
beaming proudly.
“I am really good at being brave,”
he boasts. “Also, stopping me tickled you know!”
“Ah. Of course it did.” And the
Power of the universe is gone, and time moves again as if nothing
dared impede it.
I shiver, but Jay is holding my hand.
Waiting. To learn how to witness without casting any judgement. I
only hope I can somehow teach him what we both need to learn.