The Fictioning

Okay, so! I was asked to write a fiction story, which is one that isn’t real at all. And this is pretty tough for a Jay, since all the stories I’m in are real cuz they happened to me and Honcho and Charlie and lots of other people too! Plus plus plus when you have fiction the characters have to make sense in a world that isn’t fiction, so they gotta be believable as peoples even if they’re not people at all and that makes it even more confusling if you think it might be real when it’s not real-real but only dream-real and you end up pretty sad-face and lost.

But that means this is totally a prologue! And probably an introdictioning, but no one reads those :(

*

Oolag squithered through the vast Ionish’qua with a quasi-feeling of murphle flowing through their kyshin sacs. The Yurt was behind, althling a path all its own, seeking to Jermiaj the Oolag and achieve a result almost akin to like a Burphab but more Odeblesh than suited the Ionish’qua. Oolag kysh-althed a tunnel, the murphle unploding at the strain and almost Jermiaj’d themself with the effort. The Yurk let out a Zeriek in reply and the rfgult was on!

*

“Jay.” I look up at Charlie. “This is the start of your story.”

“Uh huh!”

“It – do you know what these terms mean?”

“Of course!”

“And the, oh, Kysh-althing of a tunnel?”

“That is quantum tunnelling, but on a hugey scale, Charlie.” I beam proudly.

“And your story doesn’t say this because?”

“I wanted to make sure everyone knew it was fiction, and not be trickified into thinking it wasn’t because that wouldn’t be jaysome at all!”

“Of course not,” Charlie says after a pause. “But the point of fiction is to trick people, to an extent, just like movies and TV do.”

“Nope! I’m not doing that because it’s totally wrong.”

“Wrong,” she repeats.

“I read about how people can only really care about two hundred people before it’s too many bindings and they can’t more than are real so! it would be all kinds of wrong-face if some of those bindings were to fictional people and not real ones.”

“Oh. I see.” And Charlie walks away at that, because sometimes I’m really clever for a Jay.

*

The rfgult led to a fdish of squithering and plkreked in hawiix, so you know! Which meant Oolag did a kwertlewertz and could only begin again the Ionish’qua rapeliv.