“Honcho?”
I look up from flipping through the
morning paper for the town we ended up in last night. The major news
headline was ‘local man dies of natural causes’ which apparently
hadn’t been a joke at all. The hotel is just outside the town
proper, boasting free cable and a pool currently closed for repairs.
Possibly for several years, judging by the state of it. The suite was
clean: two rooms, a sitting area with two comfy fake leather chairs,
a table and coffee machine that worked and I’ve been spending the
last hour using magic to help the pool clean itself up, since it
wanted to be used. Jay had been sleeping in the other room.
He pads into the room, fighting back
sleepy yawn and at least wearing pyjamas. He looked to be ten,
perhaps younger, all thin and pale and entirely human. Removing
clothing would reveal he was as sexless as a ken doll and hotel staff
had run screaming in shock enough times that he wore clothing to
sleep now. Jay’s from Outside the universe, bound into my service
since serving a magician might not be wise but every alternative had
been perhaps worse.
“Morning?” I offer. “I think
there’s hot chocolate in a cupboard but I wouldn’t try it.”
Jay shakes his head and holds out his
cell phone in his left hand. “It’th broken,” he says, biting
his lower lip. Entering the universe damaged him: the lisp is one
small sign of that.
“Broken?”
He nods. “Bindingth are breaking
apart and going all weird.”
“In the internet?”
Another nod. He sets the phone down on
the table and just stares wordlessly. He knows I don’t have
anything to do with cell phones and the internet – some of that is
from being a magician, some from simply not wanting certain people to
find me – so I just raise an eyebrow and wait.
“You know what google is, yeth?” he
says softly.
“Yes,” I say dryly.
“It’th making joketh at people and
hurting them!”
“Jokes. Oh,” I say, in a different
tone. Jay sees the entire world in terms of bindings and loosing.
He’s learning to see it in other ways, or at least to understand
that other people can’t see it like that so won’t always do what
makes perfect sense to him. It’s a work in progress, like most
other things in this world. Even being a magician, when one gets down
to it: perhaps especially that.
He nods and gulps loudly. “Even
online paperth are doing it and it’th weird and – and – and –.”
“Jay,” I say, and he whimpers and
flings himself into my arms, sitting in my lap and starting to suck
his right thumb. Some time ago I used his nature to save some people:
this is part of that damage to him, and he hates doing it some days
but can’t stop himself when he’s thrown out of sorts. I just wrap
my arms about him. I could use magic to take his fear away; I don’t.
“It’s April Fools Day. Everyone does jokes on it.”
“You don’t,” he mumbles around
his thumb, then pulls it out and flushes. Sometimes he catches
himself doing it, other times he doesn’t notice at all.
I gently push his thumb back into his
mouth and he doesn’t protest, which is – something he’s never
done before. I cover my pause with words. “I don’t do pranks
because the last time I did one I was sixteen, newly a magician and
the result was called a miracle by at least a dozen people. Which
was, at the least, a very uncomfortable result.”
Jay doesn’t ask why. He does remove
his thumb after a good minute and just wraps his arms around me and
hugs me in turn before going to sit in the other chair.
“Better?”
“A little. It wath thcary,” he
says. “People do thith for fun?”
“People do a lot of weird things for
fun.” He opens his mouth, a grin spreading across his face. “And
no, that doesn’t always include sex. Or wars, come to think of it.”
I wait until he makes hot chocolate and sip my coffee as he fights
back another grin. “You used your phone before coming in here.”
His eyes narrow for a moment. “Yeth,”
he says warily.
“And it would have been the work of a
few seconds to realize what day this was. And why people were doing
pranks.” Jay says nothing, slurping his drink loudly. “I almost
fell for it until you didn’t protest at the thumb.”
“Thomeone hath to prank you,” Jay
says, half-defiant.
“Uh-huh. And this wasn’t just a
reason to try and get a new phone?”
“It might not be,” he mumbles.
“As pleased as I am that you’re now
comfortable enough with the thumb to use it as a prank, you played
your hand a little too strong. And forgot one other major thing. I
know what day this is too.”
Jay’s eyes widen
and he sets down his hot chocolate to stare into it. “It’th
blue?”
“Along with your
tongue and lips, yes.” I have another sip of my coffee. “Before
you decide to escalate this, were you at all serious about pranks and
the effect on bindings?”
Jay nods to that.
“It hurtth.”
“All right.” I
grab my coat and stand. “We’re going for a walk then: you tell me
where the bindings are breaking down due to it, I’ll use magic to
fix it. Deal?”
Ha! cute :D
ReplyDelete