Monday, August 25, 2014


I talk to people when I kill them. It confuses them sometimes. And it makes it easier, if they’re not bad people, if they don’t get to talk back. Most humans are bad people, but it’s all – confusing. Good and bad aren’t scales people balance, but they think that and it’s really hard to explain that it isn’t like that at all. Humans don’t see the world properly, which I guess is why they’re humans.

There are four of them. Two have guns; two don’t need guns. The fourth one thinks he is hiding from me and I let her think that as I steal both guns and toss them into a dumpster five floors below the rooftop. I’m faster than humans are: the two with guns barely register I’ve taken their guns before I bash their heads together and hear things crunch. I’m tough. I used to be strong, but I’m tough and I was always fast so I use that as the third Black Chamber thug screams words that are probably magic.

I ignore them, since I’m not human, and kick him between the legs. That stops the words really quick as I crouch down. “Hi. I’m Jay and you were going to try and thhoot Honcho tho I am going to kill you.”

The man just coughs painfully. “Altho, I got thteel-toed boothth that fit me,” I say, a little proudly and kick him in the throat this time. It took a while to find those with Honcho often around. He worries, because that’s what magicians so. They worry so much that sometimes they ignore really obvious things, like people with assassin rifles. Bullets can get through a magicians wards sometimes if they are magic too and one time is more than enough of a sometimes.

One of the thugs stirs a little: I feel the bindings that are him change, and turn. He pauses. I look ten, and pale, and human. I’m good at looking human and no matter what he’s been told about him – and his eyes say he’s been told a lot – he can’t help but pause. My lisp helps with that, a little. Not that I like it: I’d never even try to say the word assassin out loud. Sniper is a good word, too.

“You were going to thnipe Honcho.” I don’t say magician much either, but I’m always calling the magician Honcho and word of that gets out, too. It makes it harder to hide, but – but he’s worth that, because he’s my friend. And you help friends. “You won’t,” I explain, and then I kill him. He had a knife in his shoe and it’s easy to grab and swing, too fast for him to stop me.

The other sniper is a woman, not awake at all. I cut her throat to save time, because the fourth one is swinging an actual sword at my head. I duck, roll, twist, pefect moves from a really cool video game, and jump to my feet. She is thin, short, wearing some kind of clothing human eyes aren’t supposed to see. And of course she’s shocked I dodge the sword. Even after I moved faster than people move and beat up and kill her three other squad members.

“You know, I could be really offended that the Black Chamber ith thending really thupid people to try and kill uth.” I glare up at her, but my glare doesn’t scare anyone at all. I’ve tried. Hard. I still do it anyway. “And Honcho is alwayth thaying that government agencieth aren’t really thupid, tho by.”

I jump, hit a roof, then another as she exploded behind me. Literally blows up, bits of her everywhere burning all the bodies to ashes. It would have hit me if I’d stayed; it might even have hurt a little and I’d have have had a lot of trouble explaining it to Honcho. He doesn’t like it when I kill humans at all, even if I never do it for fun.

Fun is playing games on my phone. This is work, to protect my friend. “He hath enough to worry about without you people,” I snap without turning to face the fifth member of the squad. “He’th a magithan and the world hath lotth of thothe and you’re being all thcared of him becauthe –.” I pause and scratch my head. “Becauthe you’re human, and being afraid is like a drug? I think? It’th hard to be thure but if you want to be afraid of someone, you could be afraid of me!”

The leader of the Black Chamber squad stares at me. It isn’t disbelief; he did see me kill the rest of the squad. I’m trying not to use bindings because Honcho always notices when I do that, but it’s impossible for me not to see the bindings that make people themselves and his are all confusion and a desire to break all my bindings by killing me but he’d have to use a huge weapon – the kind that leaves craters and a lot of questions behind.

“You are a ten year old kid.”

“I am a monthter from Outthide the univerthe!”

“Do you think I can really hand out your picture to people and get them to kill you?”

“If they aren’t thtupid, yeth. Appearance ithn’t important at all; you look human too.”

He pauses. The powers he has chained inside human flesh stir. I resist the urge to stick out my tongue, because Honcho wouldn’t approve. “I will make a report.” Only that, and then gone to some other place probably not in the universe.

I climb down the wall, jump the rest of the way to the ground in a few leaps because it is dark and no human is watching and then begin walking back to the motel. They would have killed honcho. I don’t feel bad they’re dead at all, but I couldn’t kill the last one without binding it and Honcho would sense that and ask too many questions. So I threatened the Black Chamber, which has loads of bindings all over the world, and they’ll pay attention to me and that’s so scary I’m sucking on my right thumb without even noticing I’ve done it and it’s not making me feel safe at all right now.

I do it anyway, and get the coffee I promised to get Honcho and walk back to the motel. There is at least one spy satellite tracking me and I let it see me because I get to confuse them a lot this way. That might keep them away for a bit. It might keep Honcho safe. I don’t know. There’s more to humans than bindings sometimes and a small part of me things I made them too afraid and I’ve really screwed up but I can’t just tell Honcho without ruining hiding everything so I give him the coffee once I’m back and play computer games on my phone and tell myself I’m not afraid at all.

I almost bind myself to see if I can make not being afraid stick.

But Honcho would notice that. Probably. Maybe.

I give up on games after Honcho goes to sleep and just sit in the bed, covers tight. Sucking my thumb binds me, a little, against fear. I suck on both until I finally fall asleep. But my friend is worth it. He’s worth all the fear in the world.

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