Dear Spammer,

Hello there.

We don't really know each other.
In fact, we'll never meet each other,
Which I consider to be wonderful.
I normally like meeting people,
Even strangers, but in your case
I'd have to make an exception.

You see, I have this problem.
(It's not porn, despite your post.)
It's that I sort of do want to meet you.
To find out why you abuse our site.
To find out why you've hidden
Behind so many IPs, and posted
Links no one follows. I wonder
If spam is the new porn,
If you sit at your computer, and you
Masturbate each time you post.
Or, better yet, you are waiting
Until someone follows your links,
And you are sitting there, silent,
Depressed, naked and waiting with
Hopeless yearning for someone
To be as stupid as you think
People are.

It is almost enough
To make your continued existence
Remotely bearable, but i find
I can't imagine a world where
You don't exist, because then I
Would not be able to live
In one which you do.