giving up fucklings
things to make us whole
twitchings devolve
paroxysm of mirth
you are so far away
that
i am afraid to come to you
{i've never told anyone I know your name.}
i wonder what I lost
to get this far. you tell me
it is nothing (and you laugh
((especially when i cry)).
it gets harder to separate from fantasies
i used to dream of somewhat better things
i know but we have to lose what we know
to find it and learn it anew.
my therapist told me that.
before the accident.
i said it was an act of liberation
not love, being free means
not being happy.
i never told you anything.
I just kind of hoped you knew.
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